11.07.13

I don't know what's happening at the moment. Everything feels like a blur like I don't really understand what's occurring at the moment. I don't know if I'm coming or going. I don't want to make plans just in case I'm not there to live through them. I don't want to tell people how I feel because I don't want them to worry about anything, especially when it may be nothing. I wish I could understand how I'm feeling. I don't know if you've ever felt like you were the audience watching your life. That's how I feel most days recently. I feel like I'm watching my life, rather than living it myself. I can't help but do so. Maybe it's because I already feel dead. Maybe I am dead and maybe everything I'm doing is just some fantasy world or maybe I'm just dreaming. Too many maybe's with no definite answers; plagued by questions with no one giving me the answers I need to make sense of this world and my role within it.