People tell me 'how can having a punch of pills stashed in your room be a safety net?', my simple reply is 'so I can use them if I need too'. For many, that seems quite illogical and dangerous but in my mind of absolute confusion, it makes me feel safe. Its a growing collection of pills I've brought myself or one's I've got out of the medication cupboard. People tell me to get rid of the pills to reduce the urge, but yes I could do that, but that would make me more anxious. The one thing that can help me will be taken away and if I didn't have them, I'll most probably feel a bit numb and even more unsafe.
I know I'm not making much sense and most people who would, if they read this, would agree on that, but it's the truth. It protects me. If I want to take them and I have the urge and I want to leave, then I can. It gives me the option of doing so.
No comments:
Post a Comment