I feel like a lost cause; nothing is going right, I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I don't know whats happening at the moment and I genuinely feel that I'm not even real anymore. I feel like I'm invisible, that people are just looking through me and not noticing me. Sometimes I just feel like slapping myself to see if this is happening; like I'm asleep in a nightmare.
I was discharged from the crisis team today and are now under the duty of the CMHT. I didn't tell them about my plans and they just assumed I was better. I don't want people interfering anymore. I'm not going to be able to carry on with university, I don't want to go home and I have no where here to stay if I get kicked out of university. There is no where for me and I'm too weak to stand on my own two feet and handle anything.
I'm so, so tired of this all now, I really just want to give up.
