20.06.13

I have this strange feeling of jealousy or envy other my friends getting the support and help they need from the mental health services and yet I'm still stuck in the stupid system, yet again lost with no-one to turn to. I can't call up anyone in particular like a therapist or psychologist and I can't turn to them when I'm at my lowest. Yes, my friends do need help and I'm glad they are receiving the help, but I've waited 6 months for something to happen and still nothing is being done. Maybe I don't need help and maybe this is all just nothing and how I feel and what I do is nothing and maybe I should just stop wasting everyone's time where it could be given to other people and just give it a rest and hide in silence and slowly fade away with all these stupid thoughts in my head. Maybe I should just do what they say. A date with suicide.