In 11 days I move up north to start university. I'm completely and utterly terrified. I'm scared of leaving friends, leaving my home town, meeting new people, finding a new doctor. The worrying though I have is what about if I fail? What about if I have another breakdown like I did 2 months ago? What about if I take too many pills, or I feel stupidly suicidal, whose going to stop me? Because I know I'm not going to. I'm scared I'm not going to handle the pressure of being in an environment where I'll be with individuals who suffer the same conditions I do. What about if they trigger me? What about if I'm not going to be a good nurse? What about if I'm completely shit and can't help anyone? How am I supposed to help someone if I can't even help myself? There are so many questions and thoughts in my head. I don't know whether to listen to the positive answers or the negative.
Just wish my brain would shut off for a couple of days. Just want peace.
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