31.08.13

Do you know what its like to feel your heart ache, to feel an undesirable feeling to love someone when you know it won't happen. I've fallen for this guy who I've had casual sex with. He is beautiful, kind and lovely but is the type of person in my eyes who wouldn't 'go out' with me. After thinking about it all, I would happily be in a relationship with him, but the flip side is, would he ever want to be in a relationship with me? He's seen my scars and even that is difficult. He isn't very knowledgeable about mental health issues and to a certain extent general emotions. You see, I would love to go out with him if I wasn't going to university and if the fact that I was in a better frame of mind. But I know he wouldn't go for someone like me. I'm 100 times below what he should be aiming for. I'm not thin, I'm not pretty, I'm scarred, I'm broken and I'm a mess. I wish he would like me and I wish he misses me, but he doesn't and that's what hurts the most. I've fallen for some guy as per usual who doesn't feel the same way about me.