24.08.13

I want to believe that this is just a low patch. I don't want to believe that I'm having a breakdown. But how many times, I try to convince myself I'm not losing it, there is always that voice in the back that is telling me I am. Telling me all these weird thoughts and making me feel quite delusional about what is happening presently. I've never felt this weird. This weirdness is something that I can't even describe, no words can make sense of it. No matter how much time I try to analyse what is going on, it still makes no sense. I have therapy on wednesday so maybe I'll be able to make sense of it then, but even therapy doesn't help anymore. It just makes everything come out with no way of actually helping or treating what is going on. I just feel so alone recently and I've wanted to call T up but I can't. I haven't had the guts to do it, mainly because I hate talking over the phone about personal issues. I just don't know what to do anymore.