13.10.13

Yesterday was really weird. Had to take my friend to A&E because he had bumped his head and passed out whilst he was drunk. It was not weird at the fact that I had to take him to A&E but it was the fact that the last time I had gone to an A&E it was because I had overdosed on 70 pills. All I could think of was would happen if all the subsequent overdoses I had taken needed like emergency care kinda thing. I felt really triggered being there and  I don't know why. You associate hospitals with feeling I don't know, safe in a sense, like someones looking after you. Whereas oh I don't know, I kinda just wanted to take an overdose and  I don't know why. My mind really isn't working at the moment.