02.11.13

Alcohol is the way forward now. I drink because it helps. I drink because it numbs out my horrid mood and it makes me happy. I don't have to think or feel anything negative. I can just forget about everything that has made me unhappy because the drink blinds it, takes it all away and leaves me with this other person with no inhibitions and no need to feel upset or angry. I've damaged my stomach at the moment and its inflamed due to my drinking and vomiting from it but when I drink the physical pain goes away as well as the emotional. Everything has become extremely chaotic and I don't know where to go anymore.